February 18, 2005


Some guy sues NBC because he puked while watching TV. TV gives me that I'm gonna hurl feeling too but I get over it by shutting it off.
Wed Jan 5
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Watching contestants eat dead rats on NBC's gross-out stunt show "Fear Factor" so disgusted a Cleveland man that he has sued NBC for $2.5 million, saying he could not stomach what he saw.

From NBC’s site and the Cleveland affiliate WKYC, Channel 3 we learn that the alleged victim is Cleveland resident Austin Aitken. Austin "Pudding For Brains" Aitken indicates in his hand-written lawsuit that "to have individuals on the show eat and drink dead rats was crazy" and made him throw up and get dizzy. He requests $2.5 million for pain and suffering. This article goes on to say that, "Aitken is well known in Cleveland criminal courts with an arrest record for extortion, theft, forgery and stolen property going back to 19 74." I’m tempted to stop right here but to be fair, I won’t judge this guy solely on his past transgressions. However, I surely will judge him on his present idiocy.

This Reuters story goes on to report: His suit added, "NBC is sending the wrong message to its TV watchers that cash can make or have people do just about anything beyond reasoning (sic) and in most cases against their will." He said the show caused his blood pressure to rise so high that he became dizzy and light-headed, and when he ran away to his room, he bumped his head into the doorway.

First of all, money has and will always tempt people to lie, cheat, murder and simply act like fools. Money talks. It spoke loud and clear in many forms long before Judas dicked over Jesus. And it will continue to speak until the whole world is one big ball of concrete and the last Bush ancestor is driving his SUV of the future over the last furry creature. We are all to blame for this reality. Television exploits this wekness but is not the cause.

As for the alleged message that TV is sending to viewers, the one that has people "do just about anything beyond reasoning" is old news. Did you just start watching television last week? The only thing that has changed since the dawn of television is what will sell. The boundaries have been stretched, indeed, Tommy Tummy Trouble, but you are the one who has contributed to the expansion. You and the millions of other Jello-shots-between-my-ears are the reason that Fear Factor went from contestants bunjee jumping off of buildings to eating blender-battered rats. Romans watched the bloody gladitorial "games" and you watch Fear Factor. Spectator violence and extreme behavior is not new.

Additionally, no one is forced to join the GERD-suffering casts of Fear Factor against his or her will (unlike the poor, Roman captives destined to be lion kibble). You audition or apply, like any other "reality" show. Do you probably sign away every human right except, perhaps, the right to make an ass out of yourself for money, once you agree to participate? No doubt. But that’s what lawyers are for and if you signed a contract presented by a ginormously powerful television show before consulting a lawyer, then you derserve what’s coming to you. Whether it’s the shits from a bile cocktail or a monetary fine for breaking your contract, you choose what you do. No one is forced to participate. Fear Factor is hardly Guantanamo or Abu Graib.
The CLEVELAND, Ohio (AP) story reported Austin Aitken told The Associated Press he watches "Fear Factor" often and had no problem with past installments where the reality show's participants ate worms and insects in pursuit of a $50,000 prize -- but eating rats went "too far." So let me get this straight, gross antics are ok as long as YOU can stomach it? But once YOU are grossed out then you want money for pain and suffering? You knew damn well that the show depicted extreme behavior. They don’t call it Fear Factor because it leaves you with warm, fuzzy feelings. If you don’t want to be disturbed, TURN OFF THE FUCKING TV!

CLEVELAND, Ohio (AP) reports:
Asked why he didn't shut off his television before the rat-eating segment, Aitken said he couldn't do it quick enough.
Hey, Quaker Oat Brain, your eyes broker? Covering your face with your hands? Turning away? What the hell is the matter with you? Apparently the television in your life is so all-powerful that it has complete control over your limbs. Try getting out more or read a fucking book once in a while.

Mr. Aitken, you are a disgrace. You have also insulted anyone who has ever truly experienced pain and suffering and that list is endless in this fucked up world. Take your pain and your suffering and shove it up your whiny, weak-stomached, scavenging, opportunistic, haven’t-dealt-with-my-childhood-in-which-I-was-surely-wronged ASS! And for the rest of you, turn off the fucking television already. You get what you deserve, whether it’s a bad dream, an upset stomach, or a fat ass, but not sympathy.


  1. Anonymous9:27 PM

    Fear Factor has had some great feats, such as driving a sports car under an 18-wheeler while both vehicles were cruising at 40 M.P.H.
    Unfortunately, the show also could get these shallow, muscle-bound twits to eat their young for $1.83.

    Apparently the show's producers have discovered that people will humiliate themselves (that is crawl through a lucite vate of animal remains) and never question why those animals were slaughtered. The producers have little respect for the contestants and no respect for non-human life forms. After watching two episodes last year, I changed the channel and will not return.

  2. Anonymous9:28 PM

    Atlas Unshrugged

    Who is Agnes Gooch?

  3. Agnes Gooch is a character in Auntie Mame