November 07, 2005


So Saturday morning we head to UW to take a class through Experimental College. The class was Travel In Turkey. As we are planning a trip to Turkey, this class seemed appropriate and we were excited. We were the first to arrive (surprise). The teacher dude, a learned and accomplished architectural historian and writer, had been in the room setting up for who knows how long. Much to the chagrin of our noses, the door had remained closed for the whole prep session. By the time we arrived and opened the door, the first thing we noticed was the obvious B.O. of the instructor. The dude looked like any older Britsh instructor, little gray beard and stache and that Shakespeare ring of hair, slacks, button-down shirt and v-neck sweater vest. Total academia but, fretfully, very bohemia in the personal hygiene department.

Well, we gave each other the look, of course. My fear, cuz it's usually about me, is that the very next people to arrive might think the smell came from either me or Julie. I mean, there was a good chance it could have been one of us with just three people in the room. It had to be someone. No lie, I dug out my "margaritaville" lip balm and thickly applied to both lips while Julie applied, ala Jodie Foster in Silence of the Lambs, a dab under her nose on the philtrum.

Then of course, the rest of the folks filtered in. Aren't there always a few weirdos when you take a class like this? The
Pocahontas wannabe in he corner, shabby chicre with full length sweater coat (ala Rhoda), moccasin type boots, Laura Ingalls Wilder skirt, etc. The woman on the other side of the room with the whole Jackie O face was creepin' me out. Am I the only one who thinks Jackie O was NOT attractive? I suppose overall, as a persona, she was fabulous. But her eyes were crooked, too far apart (E.T.), her forehead filled the frame of every photo and her teeth were messed up. Now don't get all bent, I dug her. But she wasn't my poster girl.

My favorite class weirdo was the older woman who sat in front of Julie who audibly reacted to every other thing the instructor said with coos, ohs, ahs, head nods, head tilts, and what not. Drove me crazy. It was like she had some polite form of
Tourettes. I wanted to stab her with my margaritaville lip balm stick.

I suppose the class wasn't a total wash but it wasn't worth $30. The instructor was scatter-brained. The bit of a stutter didn't help. About three times he lamented that he should have remembered to bring such and such a book. Yeah, you should have. The projector worked for only half the class and he admitted that he wasn't good at doing more than one thing at a time (too bad for his wife) so he wasn't sure he could talk AND try to fix the machine. We did get some useful info and some handy hand-outs and did get some of our questions answered even if we didn't ask them. There was lunch after the class at Istanbul Cafe and we were originally excited to go. We love to eat and we wanted some authentic Turkish food. But after the hair-brained experience we decided no. We knew there was no way that dude would be able to pack it all up and shlep his stanky butt to the restaurant in time. And neither of us wanted to get stuck next to the old lady with Tourettes or the Pocahontas wanna-be or the flamboyant Chinese dude in sweat pants and a Members Only jacket. I only say he is Chinese because he told us he was Chinese. Everyone else in the class who drove us nuts was white, for the record. After class we had lunch elsewhere and then hung out before dinner and cards.

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